Sticks And Stones
by The Humbug
Summary: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal “Who’s Writing This Crap?’, and Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creation of NoDrogs.
1. Chapter 1

XXX

Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal "Who's Writing This Crap?' Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story 'A Small Possibility' for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I'm not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / One

The creature swooped and Kim ran, pumping her legs for all she was worth.

"KP! This way!"

Kim heard the call and angled her path towards the nearby copse of trees from whence it had come. The flying nightmare overhead also heard the human's voice and considered it irrelevant; it owned the night and the moonlit sky was its playground. It had feasted on these upright cattle for millennia and there was nothing that could change this. The redhead below knew that the danger was almost upon her but all she could do was run.

"KP, hurry!"

She didn't bother wasting her breath with a reply and instead ran faster. Her best friend and trusted partner was oft prone to needless panic but the beast circling overhead was worth every hue and cry that Ron Stoppable sent her way. It was a mystery, this creature, an abomination that seemed to have risen from nowhere in this lonely stretch of farm country to prey on the hapless travelers of rural State Route Nine. Dozens of people had been reported missing over the last three weeks and Global Justice had asked Team Possible to investigate. Two days of useless leads had finally culminated in a midnight encounter with the grotesquery itself… a winged creature that seemed part man, part gargoyle and all purposeful malevolence.

And that wasn't even the bad part.

"KP! I really, really, REALLY mean it!!!"

She heard the crack of leathery wings and imagined that she could feel the air of their beating by the time she reached the trees. Kim Possible slipped between the trunks but didn't slow down; she had quickly learned this night that there was nothing on Earth that could hinder this creature. As if to validate her thoughts the creature flew up and over the trees, skirting the highest branches while still keeping pace with its quarry below.

Down on the ground and already many yards behind the running Kim, a tall young man raised his weapon and took careful aim. He blew an errant strand of blond hair from his eyes and sighted in on the dark figure high overhead, barely visible through the branches in the moonlight.

"a-BOO-yah…"

His finger tightened on the trigger and a barbed grappling hook took flight, trailing a stout tether behind it. Luck, or maybe something else, guided his aim and the miniature harpoon struck and sank deep into the thick hide of the beast. The creature swerved slightly but held its course.

"Hey, KP! I got him! I got… WHOA!!!"

Ron barely had time to take a breath before he was wrenched off his feet and pulled up into the air… leaving his dark gray cargo pants snagged on a sapling about four feet off the ground.

"Ahh, man!"

He struck every branch and tree limb while the winged beast dragged him along in its wake, lifting him into the air while countless scratches and scrapes beset his face and legs. Years of adventuring had long since divested Ron from a fear of heights but the speed at which he was trailing behind the flying demon would have been enough to steal his breath away as he spun and twisted at the end of his lagging tether.

Looking down, he knew that he was higher than the tallest trees and he doubted that even his Mystical Monkey Powers would save him from a fall from this height. Ron briefly considered climbing further along the tether, possibly up to the creature carrying him. He even went so far as to let go of the grappling gun with one hand and extend it a few inches to grasp the line itself.

The line twanged. The beast glanced back and barred its teeth… and Ron found a little more breath.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

The creature smirked and resumed its pursuit with vigor.

It was far too powerful of a flier for the weight of the young man to slow it down; the meager drag was hardly noticeable. It had skulked… and flown… the Earth for eons, preying upon humanity from the shadowy fringe and haunting their nightmares until it had become a part of their myths and legends. It slept for more than two decades at a time and then, to fuel its life force and replenish its resources, it would wake for twenty-three days to hunt and feed before seeking shelter to sleep again.

That left little time for carnage but it was clever enough to wreak all that it could in the time allotted to it.

It wore a thick, pebbly hide that was impervious to most damage and the talons at the ends of those powerful claws could rend iron. The hat and coat that it occasionally wore for disguise were lost back on the highway somewhere, but they were easily replaced. The large, floppy hat was best suited to cover the wisps of scraggly white hair that crowned its head and also served to keep the savage fangs of its mouth in shadow. The long duster was equally practical as it allowed the folded wings on its back to remain out of sight.

It ate humans, but not for true sustenance because it was not made of true flesh. It lived and plotted and even dreamed but it was not a biological being; the lost origins of the beast were steeped in magic. As such, the flesh it consumed became a part of it in more of a metaphysical way rather than the merely physical. It ate eyes so that it could see, brains to facilitate thought and memory, lungs to draw in air and catch the scent of fear it required of the human cattle to distinguish potential prey from idle meat. This was how it knew exactly what could be taken from whom that would ensure the creature's existence for another lifetime or see it through another battle.

And during the course of this night it had smelled such a power in the heart of this woman-child that it had not smelled in nigh a thousand years. If she could be caught… when it caught her… it would feast on her heart and live forever.

And THAT was the bad part. It had Shego sweating bullets, that's for sure.

"KIMMIE!!!" The tall woman fired up her plasma until both fists glowed and she waived her arms in near panic. "Kimmie! Over here!"

She had lost track of her younger partners shortly before they had run into the trees, they being a little smaller and younger and fleeter of foot than she. The woman clad in green and black was more of a brawler and preferred to stand her ground when fighting and didn't like gallivanting all over creation… or traipsing through a desolate field in the middle of the night, as the case may be. Shego had been itching for a showdown with the winged bastard before he had decided to take to the skies and now she was just desperate to make sure nothing terrible happened to her Princess.

The frigging critter had been much too attentive of Kimmie's presence ever since they'd first encountered the damned thing. Now it was hot on her Princess's heels and definitely didn't look like it wanted to sell her Amway.

Shego reined in her plasma emission and started running towards the trees.

"KIM-MIEEEE!"

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Kim hadn't slowed down and was almost to the opposite edge of the tiny patch of forest when she heard her mate's shout. She dropped, rolled, and scurried behind a tree for cover while she scanned the immediate are for signs of the creature. The small grove of trees would only serve as protection for so long, and only while the beast kept to the air. All it had to do was land and follow her scent, which it had apparently been doing all night. Kim knew that she was in a tight spot and that the way out was not going to be easy.

Shego was going to kill her!

Kim hunkered down against the base of the tree when a raucous snapping of branches and violent rustling of leaves hurriedly drew close. She glanced back along the path she'd been running and saw Ron come flying towards her at a pretty fast clip.

"Hi, KP!"

He continued past her without slowing, dragged as he was from the dangling tether.

"Bye, KP!"

The redhead couldn't be certain in the sparse moonlight, but it almost looked as if Ron had managed to lose his pants again. She suspected that her lifelong friend would have a better chance of surviving this sitch if he remained right where he was at the end of the grappling tether so, without waiting another moment, Kim rose and bolted back the way she had come.

You want me, you got to catch me, she thought.

Considering that the deeper edge of the forest had been only a few more yards beyond her hiding place, there was no time to waste before the beast had to consider her next move and chose his. Would she leave the protection of the trees or turn back? Kim chose the latter because the tight spacing between the boles would leave hardly any room for something with a wingspan as big as a Buick to maneuver, right?

She sprinted her way back towards Shego, and meanwhile…

88888888

… Ron Stoppable dropped to the ground level and was unceremoniously dragged across the forest floor for about a dozen feet after his tether went slack. He barely had time to spit the humus from his mouth before he heard the sound of rushing wind and a dark shape with enormous wings flew down out the sky and passed within arm's length of his head.

"Oh, crappola…" Ron stared at the useless gun in his cramping hands and watched as yards of coiled tether paid out and out as the creature flew into the forest, winding between the tree trunks.

"'Forest good', she said! 'Forest good'!" Ron staggered to his feet and wiped dead leaves from his face. "'There's not enough room for him to fly below the tree line', she said!" He was sore and exhausted and wished for the thousandth time that Rufus was still alive and nestled in his pocket. The naked mole rat would've thought of something by now. Ron felt stupid and slow and useless and the tether had almost run out.

He cursed when he collided with a nearby branch and it whipped across his face, drawing a little blood. The young man raised his hand to snap off the offending foliage when he got an idea.

Maybe he wasn't totally useless after all.

88888888

Shit! It wasn't supposed to fly into the trees!

Kim had enough trouble sucking in air as she evaded her pursuer; she was almost out of breath and that didn't happen very often. Too old at twenty-five, she mused with the one part of her brain that wasn't focused on survival. She could hear tree limbs snapping behind her, hear the fleshy crack of the creature's wings as it made use of what little room was available to continue its chase.

I suppose I won't have to worry about getting any older, she mused, and the thought left her cold. Kim had run out of options. It would be upon her in moments and God only knew what it had planned for her. She poured on what speed she could and thought of her family, and meanwhile…

… Ron finished lashing the end of the tether to a tree trunk seconds before it could vanish away into the darkness.

"End of the line, Fugly!"

The line gave a mighty TWANG as it went suddenly taut, but fell limp to the ground immediately after. Ron stared down in panic at the fallen tether and wondered if his impromptu plan had failed.

An unearthly howl split the night air and Ron suspected that his plan had met with some degree of success after all.

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Agony blazed through the body of the creature and it was blinded by pain. It faltered in flight and almost struck a tree but recovered in time, prey momentarily forgotten as it glanced down along its torso to survey the damage.

There was a hole in its chest. No… it would be more accurate to say that there was a huge, ragged, gaping hole in the center of its chest, a hole big enough to drop a bowling ball through. Strands of necrotic flesh twisted at the edges as the tissue crumbled to dust in the open night air. The pain ebbed, replaced by a terrible hunger and the only force that drove the creature now was the irresistible urge to feed and heal itself.

With a mighty thrust of immense wings it pushed itself through the trees and with stolen eyes it locked onto its prey.

88888888

"KP, it's headed your way!!"

"Kimmie, it's right behind you!!"

No pressure here, Kim told herself. No pressure at all.

She knew damn well that the beast was almost upon her; she could hear it plainly and even imagined that she could smell the distinct odor of decay they had first noticed about the thing. A being shrouded in death it might be, but it had proven this night that it was stronger, faster and far cleverer than they had originally estimated… and apparently impossible to kill.

The thought of killing hardly ever passed through the mind of Kimberly Ann Possible, and only then to specifically reject it as an option. Tonight, however, their list of alternatives was short. She knew then that she would die here, right here in these woods. This was the horror that she couldn't escape and the death that she had avoided for so many years. She had been in dire straights before… and once even came so close to death that she wondered if she hadn't really been dead for a time, but this was the final nightmare that she could not beat.

Would her end be quick or would she suffer?

It didn't matter in the long run because Kim Possible was genetically incapable of giving up without a fight. She would run until her heart burst if that's what it would take to win her victory, even if it were only a moral one. She thought of her family and how she would have liked to see them one last time… but here in the darkness she would die alone, almost within sight of two people that she loved most.

But all she could see in these final moments were trees, branches, leaves and Ron's pants hanging from a branch.

Hmmm…

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The prey had turned and was running right at him! Madness!

The puny female had stopped just a few yards from the edge of the trees and was now moving back towards him at considerable speed, and she was closing the distance so quickly that he had no time to react. Shear insanity! Still… if this was the manner that she had chosen for her demise, he would accommodate her. Even now she was jumping up to hasten her fate. The creature snarled but didn't bother to raise his claws to ward the female off. He bared his fangs and…

… promptly went blind.

Kim had leapt at the last second to make her attack and was now falling to the ground, having avoided the grasping claws of the narrowest of margins. The large, dark body careened over and past her, crashing through the few remaining trees before it would once again reach the open space of the field beyond. The exhausted redhead had little thoughts of victory, however, as she collapsed back onto the forest floor and gasped for breath. She knew that she was thoroughly spent and would have to leave anything else up to the rest of Team Possible.

88888888

In stark fury the creature shredded the cargo pants away from its head. They still carried the scent of the young male which it had smelled earlier but had rejected his flesh as insignificant. Now the beast had not only had it missed the opportunity to finally end this chase, it had struck several trees painfully in its sightless blundering and brought more damage on itself.

Space opened up around it as, yet again, it cleared the edge of the forest and found room to turn. This prolonged stalking needed to end now, with the death of this human at his hands and with her heart in his mouth to replace the one he had just lost… a new heart that might beat for a thousand years. Oh, how he would revel in devouring her, wallowing in her corpse until every little piece was consumed. With a snarl that belied a dark intelligence, the beast cupped its wings and prepared to bank…

"Don't tell Kimmie that I killed you, ok?"

The field beyond the trees flared with emerald fire and he beheld the other mortal, the older woman who commanded powers beyond his abilities to fathom. Eldritch flames scintillated up her arms and across her chest and a terrible heat struck the beast's face and chest. Large areas of tissue crisped and flaked away and the exposed ruins of its inner torso started to smolder as the flames licked deeply into its body.

"Atta' boy."

Shego had seen her Princess stop just a few feet of the clearing but hadn't known what Kim was doing or what had happened after. When the creature barreled into the open with Stoppable's pants wrapped around its head, her heart had soared. Right now she let those feelings of triumph fade away, replaced by the desire to see this monster burn.

She poured on the plasma and the beast writhed on the grassy floor of the clearing. It vainly tried to fly away, but already its huge and membranous wings had been vaporized to ashes. The bony stumps thrashed in futility while it rolled and kicked in an effort to escape the green flames. The heat was like nothing that it had ever felt before in the thousand odd years since its creation, and the devastating force followed relentlessly as it dragged its torn body along the burning grass. Some parts of the demonic anatomy flashed away almost instantly while others were more resistant to the plasma briefly because of the regenerative abilities derived from the beast's diet.

Nothing could withstand the power of the mighty Shego for very long, however, and the horrid existence of the enigmatic creature soon ended in searing agony.

88888888

Ron and Kim staggered out of the thicket in time to see Shego busily stamping out a small fire that was burning in the grass. It would have been far more serious if there hadn't been some rain in recent days, but the flames had been replaced by harmless smoke by the time they reached her. Bruised and sans pants, Ron was otherwise hearty but Kim felt as if her legs were spaghetti and could barely keep to her feet. Her lungs couldn't draw air fast enough from her exertions and that made it hard for her to talk.

"Sh-sh-ego, where…?"

"Got away, Kimmie. Yep." The tall woman shook her head in disgust and looked to the starry sky. "He got clean away."

"He did? He shot through those trees like a bat out of Hell! How'd he…"

"Stoppable, do I know?" She dragged her boot across something in the ashes and stooped to retrieve it. She blew the soot free and tossed the belt buckle to Ron. "Sorry about your britches."

"Aw, nuts!" He deftly caught the accessory one-handed, no small feat with his best friend hanging from his other arm. Kim didn't buy the distraction, however.

"Shego… that thing… was headed… this way. He had to… have… flown right in your face."

"Hello! Scorched earth! Epic battle!"

"Then where… is it?"

"Got away."

"We'd better start looking before it gets too far!"

"Ron," Kim sighed, "I don't think that we'd find it." She looked up at Shego. "Would we?"

"I dunno."

"For the last time, where did it go?"

"It. Got. Away."

"Really?"

"I'd swear to it. Stack of Bibles, jury of my peers. I'll happily fill out 'GJ' form seven one one nine, pages one through sixteen, with everything signed and dated in triplicate." Shego crossed her arms and exchanged a hard stare at her petite wife. "I'd even sign my real name."

Ron Stoppable gave up wondering why the women were looking so intently at each other like that and wished that he would remember to bring a spare set of drawers. The night air was cold as it whipped between his legs! He felt movement at his side when Kim finally looked away and nodded.

"Ok."

"Ok?" Shego's stare was just as hard but there was concern there, too.

"Ok." Her voice was soft, almost careless. "We gave chase, it evaded, we tracked it here, it pursued me for some unexplained reason and then… " She eyed the burnt patch of ground one more time. "It disappeared."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll even sign the paperwork myself." She managed a tired smile and then nudged Ron. "Let me down, will you?"

"Down? You ok, KP?"

"Kimmie?"

"Chill, both of you. Just help me down before I fall down. There's a chance that you're gonna have to carry me back to the car anyway."

Ron lowered the lithe woman gently into the cool grass just as her legs gave way, getting a sudden and unexpected assist from Shego. They carefully deposited Kim and the lanky young man found other things to occupy his attention as the former thief bent low to plant a kiss on Kim's cheek.

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

"Thanks for…"

"Don't mention it. Ever. To anyone. Not even me."

"You got it, boss."

"Lord, I'm hosed. I may never walk again." Kim let her body relax for the first time in hours. She had a marvelous view of the clear, black sky but dawn was drawing close and the stars were already fading. "I owe you both my life."

"What'd ya think it wanted KP?"

This earned him two incredulous stares.

"Doy!"

"It wanted Kimmie, doofus!"

"But what for?"

"Hungry?"

"Mm? What's that, baby?"

"Either of you two world-savers hungry?" Shego was bored already. "I'm tired, too, if anyone cares and I want to go home and get something to eat."

"I can't remember if Bueno Nacho is open this late or not."

"Geez, Stoppable! I don't want any Mexican food this late, or early, or whatever!"

"There's always the naco."

"Cram your damn naco!"

"If I can say something, please and thank you?" Kim giggled from ground level. "We'll need to start home pretty soon if we're to make it home by lunch time, if ever. I don't like to keep foisting the girls on their grandparents more than we have to."

"Oooo, we can take them out for lunch and then shopping."

"That's a yes vote from Shego. How about you, Ron? You for hitting the road right now?"

"Sure. I, uh, kinda wanted to keep a… previous engagement that I made for this evening, anyway." His fair complexion registered an uncharacteristic blush and Shego had been watching for it.

"You just want to visit Bonnie and Alexander, don't you?"

"Yeah. So? She's my… our friend!"

"You get her knocked up yet?"

"Wha-wha-what!?"

"SHEGO!!"

"You planning on giving Alexander a little brother or sister yet, or… OW!" Shego hopped back and bent to massage her sore ankle. "I guess THAT leg isn't too damaged if it can kick!"

"That's it, we're leaving now."

"Then you'd better ask Stoppable to carry your scrawny ass! My ankle hurts to much for me to carry you!"

"Ron, the keys are in my right, front poc…"

"Cool!"

"Nope, no way. Stoppable, the way you drive, we'll be lucky to get back within the week. I'm driving."

"Uncool!"

"And the way you drive, Shego, we'll be lucky to get back in one piece without a speeding ticket." Kim had to grin. "Ron drives."

"The return of cool!" He smiled from ear to ear as he knelt down to Kim's side. "And I promise that I'll have us all home by lunch, if not breakfast."

"No way does he get to reach in for those keys!" The tall woman's tone held no small amount of menace. "No one else gets in those baggy pants but me."

"Ah, man! I never get to have any fu… GEEZ! KIDDING!" The young man bolted as soon as Shego ignited her plasma and found reserves of strength that he didn't know he had left. Kim rolled herself over and watched with a tired smile as her best friend ran for his life from the growling woman clad in green and black.

To Be Continued…

Author's Notes: Oooo…excitement!


	2. Chapter 2

XXX

Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal "Who's Writing This Crap?' Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story 'A Small Possibility' for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I'm not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / Two

Ron managed to get them home before dinner. It was all that Kim could do to keep Shego under control as they shared the back seat together; Ron promised not to look if Kim promised that they wouldn't make noise. The world's oldest distraction worked well and the three only switched seating arrangements when they finally reached Ron's front door. Shego jumped into the driver's seat of 'The Sloth' as the lanky hero trudged up the walk towards his family home, a decidedly lopsided Jack o' Lantern watching them from the porch.

"You really need to lighten up on Ron." Kim waved from the back seat as they pulled away.

"I really don't."

"I, for one, really appreciated his help last night." Kim sighed. "Help, nothing. He saved my life."

"…"

"You both did. I can't thank you enough, baby." She leaned forward and ran her fingers through the tangled mass of flowing black hair. "I mean it from the bottom of my heart."

"… welcome…"

"Why is it that you always start bugging when Ron and I get close?"

"…"

"You're going to answer me."

"Who's gonna make me?"

"Me."

Shego growled as she pulled back onto the primary lane; she was all too aware of Kim's methods and that her angel's methods of coercion weren't limited to pouting. 'The wheels of justice grind slow but fine', to coin a phrase, and Kim Possible could wear away at you like a glacier if she so chose.

"If this doesn't make any sense, it's your fault."

"Sock it to me." Kim flopped back carelessly across the rear seat.

"When I see you two pawing at each other…"

"Oh, please!"

"… I'm reminded that you've never been with a man."

Kim roused herself. What the Hell?!?

"What the Hell?!?"

"Simmer down, Rhonda Ramjet. Yes, I remember what you told me about that Spankey guy you tried to date back in high school."

"Mankey! Josh Mankey! And what do you mean by…?!"

"What I mean, Kimberly Ann, is that you never formed a relationship with a male before I came along." Shego drove ahead, literally and figuratively. "Nothing beyond your friendship with Ron, deep though it is, and your schoolgirl crush on Spankey."

"Mankey!"

"Healthy young woman, decidedly as much over-sexed as she was repressed."

"Ghaa!"

"And not one sexual relationship with a male of the species? Shocking."

"So??"

"You have to admit that it is the natural order of things."

"So not getting your point!"

"But so getting pissed, apparently. How about this… the mighty Shego sees you rolling around on the grass with your bestest friend in the universe and I'm afraid that you might someday want to bed him just to see what it would be like."

"…I… I…"

"You're too sharp and imaginative to never have though about it. I can't fault you for errant fantasies, but there's no way I'd ever believe that the idea hasn't crossed your mind." Shego made the next to last turn before they reached the block where their home was. "So please don't deny it."

This was beyond awkweird. Was Shego accusing her of infidelity, of 'lusting in her heart' for Ron? If so, the other woman was being eerily calm about it.

"Where in the heck did this come from?"

"Welcome to my brain, Princess. Mind your head and watch that first step. It's doozey."

"It's a darker place than I'd realized."

"'Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.'"

"You seriously believe that I would break the vows I made to you?"

"No."

They were on the final approach to their driveway. Kim cleared her mind of anything else that she might have said and just concentrated on breathing for the next few seconds.

"Do you want me to stop being close to Ron?"

"Just forget I said anything."

"But you did. Say something, I mean."

"You made me."

Shego pulled into the drive, parked right up against the garage door and shut off the engine. Her movements were tired but controlled and she was reaching for the door handle when a small hand came up from around the driver's seat to stop her.

"Shego, wait."

The woman behind the wheel stopped.

"Ron and I mean too much to each other to ever let go completely. We've been together for so long that a little piece of ourselves lives in each others hearts." Kim saw the one reinforced glove tighten on the steering wheel but didn't let that stop her. "But our hearts have found new homes. Ron's has found a place close to Bonnie and their child. Mine has found a home with you."

The green and black clad arm moved away from the door handle and both hands gripped the steering wheel. Kim continued.

"I don't just want you, I need you. The last time I was close enough to Ron that I envisioned a future with him was the first time I realized that we would never be happy as a couple. We've talked about it since and, well…" Kim was surprised at how painful this was to admit, but it was a small price to pay for her mate's assurance. "We knew that we would never be happy, not the way we should be. I would always worry that I was treating him the way he deserved and he would always be afraid of letting me down. Afraid of not living up to his full potential."

She paused; there was no reaction from the front seat.

"My love for Ron is as full and as strong… and as intimate as it will ever get, and that's been our shared decision for years. The only person that I want to share my life with, wake up next to, battle Hell alongside with and raise those two Troglodytes with is already sitting right in this car. If anyone in this car should be feeling doubt as to their worthiness, it's me." She grunted as her left leg cramped a bit. "I'm stubborn, cranky, I make snap judgments and never, EVER remember to tell my wife how much I appreciate her."

Kim settled back and lifted her mission satchel. She smiled at the blank expression Shego was wearing and how intently the older woman was inspecting the garage door through the windscreen glass; it was a sure sign that the former villain was in danger of getting choked up and would appreciate a change of subject. The redhead was all too happy to accommodate knew what was on both of their minds.

"So howzabout we go inside for a really quick change of clothes and then collect little Cuff and Link from my folks for a night on the town?"

"… please and thank you…"

Shego let the last three minutes nestle deep into her subconscious and shoved her marital anxieties aside; the past few hours had held more drama than she cared for and she'd much rather be reunited with her children. She was as much in need of occasional moral support as her younger spouse, but would rather lose a toe than admit it.

"I'm still hungry."

"No, really?" Kim knew that she'd heard her mate's stomach rumbling.

"I'd eat you if there were enough meat on them bones."

"You so FUNNY." Kim's own stomach was rumbling. "What are you in the mood for?"

"You."

"But you just said..."

"I didn't say that there wasn't enough meat for an appetizer."

"Oh." Emerald eyes shone from the rearview mirror and Kim blushed. There was always time for a Plan B and Shego was obviously feeling more like her usual self. "Howzabout we go inside the house for an unnecessarily prolonged change of clothes and THEN collect little Cuff and Link from my folks for a night on the town?"

"Yum! And then let's all get burgers.

"How about we let the girls decide? They were pretty bummed that we had to leave, so let's give them the choice."

"Poopie." Shego didn't have it in her to pout; the desire to be with the twins was too strong. "I just hope that they don't want to go to Bueno Nacho again."

"Why not?"

"Mexican food gives me gas."

"Don't I know it."

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Kim and the girls already knew what they wanted but they hung back from the counter because Shego could never decide among what were, in her opinion, the lesser of the evils.

"I've never seen you so indecisive than when we come here to eat!"

"I don't like Mexican food!" Shego had eyed the menu from left to right; now she started from the right and worked her way back. "I wanted a burger."

"You love Mexican food and you know it."

"Well, it doesn't love me."

"You ain't kidding." Kim grinned. "I thought you were going to set the sheets on fire that one time!"

"Hey, that was only because I tried to light one with my plasma!" Shego blushed, a characteristic but rarely seen bruised color. "Coming from a family of four boys, you should expect that from me."

"Don't forget that I have two brothers, myself."

"Uncle Jim and Uncle Tim!"

"That's right, Sheki!"

"TWEEBS!"

"Indoor voice, please and thank you, Kasy."

"Yes, Mommy!"

The twins were well behaved as usual but that wouldn't last if they didn't get some food in their bellies. Six year olds grew fast, as Kim knew all too well. Kasy was inspecting the rack of toys and Sheki was looking towards the condiments. Both were hungry and their Mommy could hear their stomachs grumbling.

"Shego if you don't hurry up and pick something, I'm going to let the girls ravage and devour the next person who walks through the door."

"Mommy, eating people is gross!"

"That's right, Sheki. You just keep that in mind."

"Especially if you're in a Uruguayan rugby team."

"She-GO…!"

"I'm just saying…"

"BRAINS!"

"Mommy, Kasy just said 'brains'!"

"Shego, you didn't let them watch 'The Movie' did you?"

"Nuh-uh, Princess. Not my fault!"

"Kasy Ann, where did you hear that?"

"Grandpa. He let us watch the zommmmbies!"

"See, Kimmie? Crazy starts at home." Shego sniffed. "Besides… your dad likes the new zombie pictures and I prefer my walking dead 'old school'."

"If you don't hurry up and pick something to eat I'm going to go find me an antenna." Kim leveled her eyes at the larger woman and her expression was very convincing. "So help me, I will."

"Ok! Ok!"

More amused than frustrated, the taller woman still maintained a healthy scowl when she finally moved forward and placed her order with Ned, the counterman of the Middleton Bueno Nacho franchise. Ned knew Kim well and was always happy to see her but he always hesitated before taking Shego's order. He was too good of an employee not to so the Possibles ended up with one Armadillo JR meal for each child, a grande-sized taco platter for Kim and a naco-enchilada combo meal for Shego. All four of them balanced trays and drinks as they made they're way to a preferred table near the front of the building.

"Does anybody need to go to the bathroom?"

"I took care of that before we left the house, Pumpkin."

"Not you!" Kim rolled her eyes at Shego's smirk. "I mean little Frick and Frack, here!" She bent down to gather her daughters' attention. "So, how about it? Bathroom?"

"No, thanks!"

"No thank you, Mommy."

"Do you need to make shiny hands?"

"No."

"No!"

"'Shiny hands'… that's a good one."

"I just don't want them getting sick because they haven't shed some of their plasma energy in the last few days."

It was a little known fact that if Shego or the twins failed to expend some of their plasma radiation every few days, body aches and nausea would occur. The energy was stored in their bodies after having started as ultraviolet light converted from any ambient source such as the sun. Letting the energy build would cause an involuntary emission if the levels became too high. As an adult, Shego simply fired up a plasma field for a few seconds now and then if there hadn't been any recent missions. The children didn't have that much control; their powers were still weak and hardly strong enough to make toast.

Shego figured out why the girls were so cranky one day and encouraged them to emit their own little plasma fields. They felt better almost instantly… but Kim had been frantic because she feared that her babies had been on the verge of literally exploding. Such was never the case and so Kim came up with the term 'making shiny hands' as a way to assuage her panic.

"They made shiny hands this morning when we were cleaning up the back yard, so they should be good 'til for awhile. And I meant exactly what I said, Princess… that was a good one."

"Oh. Well, thank you, then!" Kim bounced in her seat and Shego shook her head in mock disgust.

It was early evening and for patrons to see Kim Possible eating dinner at the local Bueno Nacho with her best friend Ron Stoppable used to be a common enough sight, once upon a time. The two still shared an occasional meal here together but these days it was more common to see Kim in the company of a slightly older woman with amazingly long and black hair and an unusually green complexion, usually accompanied by two darling little girls that MOST folks thought were Kim's children because MOST people from the area had known her to have been pregnant a few years back.

That the girls wore the same complexion as the older woman was not fully understood and Kim wasn't going to explain that to anyone outside of immediate friends and family. Not that she was embarrassed or ashamed; nothing could be farther from the truth. It was just that the truth… could seem so awkweird!

When Shego took her first bite, Kim let slip a giggle. It never failed to amuse her that she favored Ron's personal creation.

"I'm telling Ron!"

"It's the lesser of the evils."

"I'm telling Ron!"

"You do and it's a 'Dutch oven' for you tonight, Pumpkin!"

Kim smirked and pointed to her own tray.

"Then it'll be a double 'Dutch oven'. Mutually assured destruction!"

Shego grimaced at the thought.

"You nasty!" She handed her daughters some napkins. "Isn't Mommy nasty!"

"Why's Mommy nasty?" Sheki carefully folded the paper from her drinking straw.

"Because she farts!"

"SHEGO!" Kim turned as red as a packet of Diablo sauce. "We are NOT the only people IN here!"

"She makes poo-gas!"

"Poo-gas!" Kasy blew the paper off of her straw and it went flying across the table. Sheki picked it up and added it to her orderly pile of trash.

"Farts are gross!"

"Kim Pootable!"

"Momma said POOT!"

Even the reserved Sheki laughed at that one.

"Great. I hope you're happy."

"Sorry, Princess!" Shego looked anything but sorry. Her smile did fade, however, when she saw the toy that had been provided with each child's meal. "Do they STILL have to make those?" She nudged the Lil' Diablo figure a few inches further away with a black-glossed nail. Now it was Kim's turn to have a laugh at her spouse's expense.

"One of these days you'll wake up and I'll have set a dozen of those things around your side of the bed."

"I'd rather be kicked into an antenna…" This prompted a brief battle of sticking out tongues but Kim had to declare a cease-fire after Shego flicked a piece of shredded cheese at the petite woman and the girls showed signs of wanting to get into the act with heavy artillery, namely with handfuls of meat.

With a little good-natured teasing, the meal settled down into the usual 'Family Night Out' and they ate and talked; Kim and Shego discussed work at 'GJ' and their own household occurrences while the girls chimed in with rousing tales of First Grade and Pixie Scouts. The parents always made it a point to speak with their offspring as if they were adults… editing their words, of course, to best fit within the education and experience of their daughters, but never talking down to them or in a condescending manner. This progressed normally until a point in time when Sheki finished taking a drink and turned to her mother thoughtfully.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"What does 'carpet muncher' mean?"

Kim froze, Shego sputtered on her own beverage and all nearby conversation ceased in the small fast-food restaurant, disrupted as if a phonograph needle had been scraped across the surface of a long-playing record. Shego regained control of her airway before Kim did and the former thief could feel the blush rising from across the narrow table. She gingerly combed her fingers through Sheki's long, black hair to get the little girl's attention.

"Honey, where did you hear that?"

"A girl in my class." The little carbon copy of Shego lifted her napkin and dabbed innocently at her face. "Her name is Missy. She was helping the teacher pass out milk and she said it when she gave me mine."

"Oh."

"What does it…?"

"It's… not a nice thing to say." Three pairs of emeralds shifted towards Kim; she finally found her voice again. "It's a very rude expression that some people use for… other people."

"Like a bad word?"

"Well… sort of. The words aren't bad but when you put them together, it's bad."

"We have carpet at the house." Kasy wanted to get involved in the conversation.

"That's different, sweet pea."

"We munch our food when we eat!" Sheki made this sound like a proclamation. She was holding a nacho up to the face of her doll and making chewing noises for an otherwise disinterested Mr. Bunny.

"Munch-munch-munch!"

"It's still different, guys." Her initial reaction abating, Kim shook off her anxiety and reached out to gently tousle the hair of both girls. "The words are good but not when you say them together and never when you say it to someone else."

"Y'ok, Pumpkin?"

"Yeah, sure." She certainly felt ok. Shego wasn't so sure yet but she let it pass for the nonce.

After almost seven years together as a couple, the redhead could still slide into a funk when confronted with her choice of lifestyle and Shego knew better than to ignore the signs. It was her angel that she was more concerned about than the children; the girls were sharp as whips, highly intelligent for their age and equally so, both Sheki with her quiet ways and hyperactive Kasy who was lovingly smearing cheese on Kim's hand.

"Mommy's right. Please don't ever repeat what Missy said." She spoke to her children but still kept a wary eye on her diminutive spouse.

"Then why'd she say it?"

Kim shrugged and smiled as she licked the cheese away.

"I dunno, sweetie. Promise me that you'll never say that to anyone, please?"

"KAY!"

"Ok, Mommy!"

"Don't ever call anyone that and let your Momma and I know if anyone says that around you again, ok?"

"WE WILL!"

"Good girls!"

"So not da' dwama."

"Sheki Go Possible!" Kim feigned shock as Shego laughed loudly "Where did you hear that??"

"From you, Mommy."

The pall that had been the centerpiece of their table for the last few minutes was officially broken. Kim breathed a sigh of relief.

"You know… it's still pretty early. We should have plenty of time to watch 'Mr. Sit Down' when we get home before bedtime."

"YAY!!" There was no reminder about using the indoor voice that time. Shego waited until the girls were absorbed in their meals again before hooking her mate's attention.

"Nice work there, Mrs. Possible. Very smooth." She gave the redhead a wink.

"Thank you, Ms. Possible. Whew!" Kim pantomimed wiping her brow. "Mom never thought to warn me about THAT sitch before!"

"Remind me to tell you about a man named Art Linkletter, someday."

"Who?"

"Never mind. Not important now." Shego took the time to enjoy a few more bites of her naco before speaking again. "Does it have to be 'Mr. Sit Down'?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing… except what happened that time Dr. D and I got pulled into that television dimension with you and Ron." She shivered. "There was an unfortunate incident involving 'Mr. Sit Down'."

Kim's eyes glinted and she stretched out a foot and gently stroked Shego's leg beneath the table.

"Well, if you're a good girl, maybe 'Miss Go Down' will visit you tonight."

"Kimmie, it's 'Mr. Sit Down', not 'Miss Go D…" The words caught in her throat. She felt the heat of her own blush rising.

"… oh…"

"Want to ask me again if I'm ok?"

"Oh, I know you're alright." Shego used her napkin to wipe away a few drops of sweat that had nothing to do with the spicy food. "In fact, you're amazing."

"Please and thank you!"

To Be Continued…

Author's Notes: Sorry, folks. The first chapter was a blatant red herring; I'd just watched both 'Jeepers Creepers' films back to back and just HAD to see how Team Possible might fare against the Creeper! Victor Salva's work is being used without permission.


	3. Chapter 3

XXX

Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal "Who's Writing This Crap?' Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story 'A Small Possibility' for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I'm not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / Three

The children had watched a Mr. Sit Down DVD and even coaxed their parents into reading them a nice long story. They'd been down for the count for almost two hours and the older members of Team Possible were in the living room watching a movie of their own.

One of them was crying.

"You're a freak."

"AM NOT!"

"And a big fat crybaby."

"I AM NOT A CRYBABY!" This was punctuated by a prodigious sniffle. "Ok, so I'm a crybaby… but I am not FAT!"

Kim smiled and handed Shego a box of tissues.

"I take that part back. Do you want anything from the kitchen?"

"… sniffle…"

"I'll take that as a no." The redhead stood and left the room, collecting their empty glasses as she went. Closing up the house for the night only took a minute and Kim returned to the living room to see her mate still dabbing at her eyes.

"Oh, for the love of Mike… you've seen that film fifty times since we've been together!"

"… twenty-seven. No, hang on… twenty-eight…"

"Whatever! You know how it ends!"

"I know!"

"It's a happy ending! He goes to Paris with her! They live happily ever-after!"

"… but it's so sweet…!"

"And yet you won't watch the remake with Harrison Ford."

Kim barely had time to dodge the box of tissues that Shego flung at her.

"For your information, Kimmie-wimmie-pumpkin-angel, the Bogart version hurricane rocks but the remake sucks for air." Shego thought a moment. "Greg Kinnear plays a more believable David Larrabee than William Holden, I'll give you that."

"Freak, I say."

Kim held out her slim hand and Shego took it gently in her much larger one, both grips were strong and together they went upstairs to their shared bedroom. They disrobed and performed their nightly ablutions mostly in silence; it was a silence born of comfort and not of apathy because they were never tired of each other's company.

"Damn, girl!"

"What?" Kim had just stepped out of the bathroom. "Do I have toothpaste on my chin?"

"No. Just checking out those abs." Shego narrowed her eyes and settle back against her pillow. The petite redhead grinned and ran a finger down the front center of her body.

"Do I have a six-pack?"

"Shit… you have a six plus some muscle groupings that I'm not sure are even natural."

There was a little rambunctious activity when Shego held Kim down and pulled off the fuzzy socks that Kim often wore to bed but that made Shego's legs itch when they cuddled. The hero got her revenge shortly after lights-out when she laid claim to the first 'Dutch oven' of the night. Shego didn't return to the bed until Kim stopped giggling and until the former villain was convinced that the bedroom had been thoroughly aerated. It took a mid-strength 'Pout' to drag her to the center of the bed where Kim waited with an insincere apology and open arms; the pale green woman could live with the one as long as she could have the other.

They turned off the bedside lamps and settled in close.

"Kim?"

"Hm?"

"Earlier."

"Hm?"

"The carpet-muncher thing."

"Hm."

"Name calling?"

"Dunno. I… just dunno."

"We gonna do anything?"

"Not unless it happens again." She sighed and held the older woman tighter. "S'pose we're lucky the kids haven't gotten more flack 'cause of us."

"Didn't think that many folks knew the whole story"

"They don't. Not the sordid, tawdry details."

"Love you, too."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah." Shego nuzzled Kim's hair. "It bother you?"

"What?"

"The flack."

"Not for me."

"The girls?"

"Yeah."

"Glad to hear it… that it doesn't bother you."

"Yeah."

"Used to."

"So did."

"Not so much?"

"So not."

"Good."

"Still… y'ever wonder if…?"

"What?"

"If… either of them turn out like…"

"Like what?"

"Us."

"You mean gay?"

"Yeah."

"Geez… I'm not ready to think about them with BOYS yet and now you've got me thinking about GIRLS, too." Shego shivered. "Can't they stay little forever?"

"Nope."

"Sure?"

"Yep."

"Nuts."

"Yep."

"Would them being gay bother you?"

"Heck no. It's just… who knows what the world will be like in ten to fifteen years? Will people be more accepting?"

"If I have my way, they'll live how they want and tell the rest of the world to go and fu…"

"SHEGO!"

"I'm just saying." She squeezed the slender form in her arms. "Our girls shouldn't worry about what other people think."

"Agreed."

"What folks do in the privacy of their own home isn't anyone's business."

"Right!"

"So… the carpet-muncher thing?"

"No sense bugging at this point."

"Ooo!" A promise from earlier in the evening suddenly came to mind. "Speaking of!"

"Oh, right! I'd almost forgotten!" Kim was almost purring when she broke their embrace and slowly… ever so slowly… moved herself down the length of Shego's long and supple body until she was in the best position for what she had promised her mate earlier that evening.

"Please and thank you… and STOP giggling!"

88888888

The phone call came while Kim was at her rarely occupied workstation in the Middleton contingent of Global Justice; she filed most of her reports from home and the workstation here was little more than a chair and a writing self and a terminal but sometimes there were matters of national security that required her to complete certain pieces of paperwork within the walls of 'GJ' proper. That, and she had been quietly asked by Dr. Director to make an occasional appearance so as to boost morale among the younger female agents that looked up to Kim Possible as a source of inspiration.

"Kim, here. What's the si… um… Independent Agent Possible, speaking."

"I love when you do that!" It was an agent they had worked with her before, someone that had been assigned to brief her on missions in the past, and they were on very close speaking terms. He chuckled at her gaff. "It makes for a more interesting stint at the switchboard!"

"Glad I could amuse!" Kim smiled to herself and saved her work, closing the report file. "What's up?"

"Call on hold for you. They say they're calling from your daughters' school and they are using the 'GJ' standard issue façade rerouting contact line for parents." The man let his former levity bleed away. "I can patch it right through."

Kim settled the thoughts that sprang forth from her overactive imagination and spoke steadily

"Please and thank you."

"Done. Hope it's nothing. Bye." There was a click and a buzz and finally a beep that was the signal of a new line being opened.

"Hello, this is Kim Possible."

"Mrs. Possible… this is Gracie Manders at Middleton Elementary."

"Yes?"

"I'm calling about your daughters."

"Are the girls ok?"

"Well, yes. Yes, they're fine, but we would like you to stop by for a meeting with our Principal regarding an incident."

"'Incident'?"

"Yes. In the schoolyard."

"Are you sure they're ok?"

"Oh, certainly." The woman on the other end of the line lowered her voice. "There was a minor altercation involving another student in our First Grade class and…"

"Altercation?"

"I'm afraid so. You see, there was a fight between…"

"A FIGHT?!?"

"Mrs. Possible, please!"

"I, uh… sorry." Kim composed herself but not before a few heads had turned her way in the 'GJ' bullpen. This was not the place to lose her cool. "They were in a fight??"

"Well… not a fight, per se. There was some name-calling and shoving, nothing more than a few tears and at least one bruised posterior when the other child lost her footing. I don't mean to be vague, it's just… well, disclosure is a funny thing these days."

"I see." Kim suspected that she knew what the root of this sitch was. She located a notepad in one of the myriad pockets of her cargo pants. "What day would be a good day for me to make an appointment?"

"Oh, dear! I don't seem to have made myself clear at all. The Principal wants to see you today, this afternoon, when you come to collect the children."

"Today?"

"Yes, please."

"Oh." Kim pocketed the notebook and glanced at the clock on her computer terminal. It had originally been Shego's day to pick up the twins but there was no way Kim was going to let Shego handle this… whatever it was… on her own. Her mate's general attitude towards authority figures gave a fifty-fifty chance of having one Principal get flash-fried before day's end.

"I can be there in about twenty minutes if that won't be too late."

"Not at all. That would be just about when their last class ends and I'll have their teacher escort them to the office waiting room. They can wait there with me while you speak with Mr. Barkin."

An imbalanced feeling of déjà vu and chilling flashback shrouded her vision.

"Did you say 'Mr. Barkin'?"

"Why, yes."

"Mr. Barkin is the Principal?"

"Why, of course!"

"Since when?"

"Since his appointment was approved by the school board last month. He has really whipped the school into shape, let me tell you!"

"No doubt." Kim found it impossible to mirror the other woman's enthusiasm. That's what I get for missing PTA meetings.

"Oh, yes! Well, I hope that I haven't disturbed you too greatly and I'll let Principal Barkin know that you will be here after classes."

"… great..."

"Have a nice day!"

Kim closed her end of the connection and stared at nothing for a while. She cleared her mind whist tapping her pen against the edge of her desk until she knew that she absolutely had to get moving or she would be late for her impromptu meeting. She closed down the workstation and made her way out of the building, exchanging a few very brief pleasantries on her way, more to keep herself calm than out of politeness, and exited the hardware store façade to locate her car.

Middleton Elementary was only a few minutes drive but she needed to swing by the house to pick up Shego; she wanted her spouse with her so that she girls wouldn't be alone during Kim's meeting with Barkin.

Mr. Barkin.

Principal Barkin.

"Nuts."

88888888

The drive to the school had been understandably tense and it had been difficult to keep Shego calm.

"Did they touch my girls!?"

"No, of course not!"

"Because, I swear, if any of those fu…"

"Shego, chill! Teachers have so many rules to follow these days about handling kids that they can barely even touch them at all."

"Still… they'd better not have laid a hand on them." Green flickers of light reflected off the dashboard and Kim was glad that the school was now less than a block away.

She'd called ahead to alert Shego of the sitch and the older woman barely had enough time to change out of her more casual clothing in favor of a proper skirt and blouse. Kim hadn't been wearing mission garb at the 'GJ' facility so she was already prepared for her meeting, albeit maybe a little underdressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. They had to wait at the crosswalk while a passel of children was herded across the street but entering the parking lot was considerably easy with all the buses gone so Kim was able to swing right into a 'visitor' space close to the front entrance.

Shego had not quite sufficiently chilled and neither woman got out of the car.

"I don't see why you're always the one who gets to talk to their teachers!"

"We agreed that I would interact with authority figures, right?"

"…"

"Ri-ight?"

"They're my girls, too!" The taller woman crossed her arms and sulked. "We share all parental responsibilities!"

"Of course, baby! We always do."

"But there are always SOME things that you don't want me to do by myself!" Shego was getting angry again. "It always has to be YOU!"

"Well…"

"It's like you don't trust me!"

"Of course, I trust you. It's just that…"

"Just what?!"

"It's just that you're a little too defensive of the girls, sometimes. You jump to a conclusion and stop observing the sitch for what it is."

"What is the frelling sitch?!?"

"That's just it! We… don't… know!" The younger woman sighed. "But charging in without a clear head will just make it worse."

"Bullshit! Babbling bullshit! I know what it REALLY is! You don't…"

Kim tuned the rest of the diatribe out because she knew what was being said and she had been down this particular road before; this was the fallout of one of Shego's deepest fears as a parent. The former thief was deeply insecure in her role as a mother and homemaker for the twins. The young hero had plenty of her own fears, especially since both roles had been thrust upon her at such a young age through an outlandishly elaborate… and unsuccessful… plot by Dr. Drakken to oust Kim Possible from her crime-fighting career by having her artificially impregnated. Shego had played a part in that scheme, albeit without any foreknowledge of exactly what Drakken's plan was. She'd made him pay when she learned that Kim had become pregnant. Because of her involvement there was a guilt that accompanied the love that she shared within their tight-knit family, the family that they had created not only to support the children once they had been born but also the life that Kim and Shego shared together that was born from their attraction and affection for each other.

It was a love that took some time for Kim to understand and return; having another woman express intimate love towards her was a little frightening at first, disregarding the fact that it was her former worst enemy. With the impending arrival of the twins came a prolonged truce, which in turn led to familiarity and trust, and ultimately a comfort level that made the possibility of affection seem viable.

When Shego sat her down and finally exposed her heart by telling Kim of her feelings, the world seemed to stand still. When Kim melted into that first kiss, the world moved for them both. It was a complicated love but it was strong and flourishing.

Kim decided to rejoin the rant already in progress.

"… so if you don't think that I'm capable enough to be a mother, then FINE!"

"I've never thought anything like that. Ever. You know it."

"It's like you don't want me in their lives!" The pale green face was thoroughly screwed up in a scowl. If plasma could be projected from Shego's eyes, the ca would've needed new upholstery. "I'm surprised that you even called me or stopped by the house to pick me up!"

"Now, look…"

"… or maybe the great and powerful Kim Possible would prefer that I remain out here IN THE CAR!!?"

Enough was enough.

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer." Kim pocketed her keys and her purse and opened the car door. She slid out and leaned back in to look Shego squarely in the face. "You're mad and spooked about whatever the girls did and whatever it was that made them do it. If you go in there," she pointed to the building, "in your current state of mind, you'll just make more trouble for them with the school's administrators. That, and likely attack Barkin before he get to say more than ten words. If you are determined not to control yourself, then yes, maybe you should consider staying in the car."

Kim calmly shut the door on any argument that her wife might have been about to make. Walking to the front of the car, she gently leaned against the hood, her meager weight barely registering to the suspension system. Kim inspected the façade of her old alma mater and waited to see what happened next.

She didn't have to wait long before the front passenger-side door opened and the vehicle rocked slightly beneath her as another body settled on the hood to her right. Kim turned and noted the apology written in the lines of her wife's face. The actual words would come later.

"Kim?"

"Hm?"

"I'm mad and I'm spooked about whatever the girls did and whatever it was that made them do it." One long arm reached out and snared Kim's slender limb, a pale hand took her smaller hand in its grip. The mouth was hard-set and the eyes were like green flints but the blaze behind them had subsided. "I'd like to go inside now so that we can see our daughters."

Kim nodded, a soft smile in her eyes.

"Agreed."

"I was feeling stupid and scared."

"So I gathered."

"Sorry."

"Accepted. But dealing with Barkin is my job. Mine, ok?"

"…"

"Say it with me. My job." Kim's tone evoked a rolling of Shego's eyes.

"… your job…"

"And only because he knows me from my time as a student here. He expects to be speaking to me." Kim lifted their clasped hands to her face and kissed a pale green knuckle. "And if I've ever… EVER… said or done anything to make you feel as if you were one iota less than a full mother to those gremlins, then I apologize. It's very important to me that you know that."

"I do."

"Shego?"

"Hm?"

"Can I say one thing about, um… how I got… how the girls were… about Drakken's plan to…"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No! You know that… that I'm sorry it…" The scowl was back but this time there was something darker behind it, that old guilt coming back. If she could have covered her ears without looking weak, she would have.

"I really need to."

"… don't…"

Kim forged ahead.

"I'm not." She smiled. "Sorry, that is. I never was, not even when Dr. Feliz told my Mom and I that I was pregnant."

"R-really?"

"Really. Stunned, yes. Shocked, yes. Sorry? Never."

"Is that what you wanted to say?"

"Pretty much. That, and how amazing it is… crazy though it still seems sometimes at how unlikely the event was… that you and I are together and raising the bestest family that a girl could ever dream of."

"Oh, stop." Shego wiped her eyes under the pretense of brushing away a stray lock of hair. "Let's get this show on the road."

To Be Continued…

Author's Notes: The reference to both 'Sabrina' films and characters therein was done without the permission of their respective creators. Please excuse the bit of exposition where I once again remind the readers of how the twins came to be born through the machinations of NoDrogs. Finally, I've never seen Kim as ever becoming a full agent for Global Justice. Rather, I imaging that she would remain an 'Independent Operative' and physically report to 'GJ' headquarters occasionally.


	4. Chapter 4

XXX

Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal "Who's Writing This Crap?' Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story 'A Small Possibility' for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I'm not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / Four

The main door was unlocked and the release bar clanked when Kim leaned into it. There wasn't a Receptionist on duty at this time of the day so they ambled around the foyer of the school for a moment looking for guidance. Decorations in orange and black festooned the hallways and proclaimed 'Happy Halloween' with smiling ghosts and playful spiders.

"Why are spider decorations always purple?"

"Probably to make them look less scary."

"See, there's one. And another." Shego pointed. "That vampire's purple, too."

"Yeah, and that Frankenstein's Monster is dark green. So?"

"I'm just saying. What's wrong with green?"

"Nothing's wrong with my favorite shade of green." Kim winked at her. "Dark green isn't my favorite."

"Why, thank you, pumpkin!"

The original layout of Middleton Elementary had changed a bit since Kim's days as a student there; consolidation and expansion of rooms and the odd piece of new construction made her memories of little value. They'd both been at the school several times for shows and games but the offices were on the opposite side of the building from the auditorium and gymnasium.

Eventually they spotted some placards mounted on the tiled walls surrounded by colorful pictures made by the students using everything from crayons to finger paints, and these indicated that the offices they sought could be found at the end of a long hallway to their right. More handmade art plastered the walls of the hallway and the women casually inspected these as they walked towards their destination.

The sound of their footfalls on the linoleum floor left the hall much to quiet for their tastes. Hundreds of hand-cut pumpkin cards lined the walls around them.

"Barkin… Barkin…" Shego scanned the walls for anything by her daughters. "I think I remember this guy. Big, broad shoulders, crew cut?"

"That's him."

"What's your beef with him exactly?"

"You know this little problem I have called 'respect for authority'?"

"Yeah." Shego looked over and saw that Kim was grinning so she grinned back. "It's been a really hindrance in your social development. Almost as much as your overdeveloped sense of right and wrong."

"Mr. Barkin was THE ultimate symbol of authority when I was a teenager and THE most difficult teacher that I had to endure in high school."

"Where'd you pick up a word like 'endure' since you used to hang with Stoppable all day long?"

"Doy!" Kim scoffed but she didn't mean it. She was just glad that her mate was in a better mood. "I actually read an entire book last week. You'd be proud of me!"

"Ex-military, huh?"

"He ran every classroom like a platoon."

"Maybe that's the problem."

"What?"

"Him being military."

"Oh, please! I've worked side by side with every branch of the armed forces you can name, both domestic and foreign. They're some of the best folks I've ever met."

"Tough?"

"Very tough."

"Maybe he thought you were all a bunch of goldbricks."

"Please! My class had the best brain…"

"Justine Flanner."

"Check. And the best jock…"

"Brigg Flack."

"Brick Flagg."

"Whatever."

"… plus Bonnie, Monique… not to mention yours truly…"

"Oh, it's always about the 'girl who can do anything'!" Shego bumped her hip against the petite woman walking next to her. "We can't forget her!"

"… so our class was definitely NOT a collection of goldbricks."

"What'd he teach?"

"Everything! Or at least it seemed that way." Red hair bobbed as she shook her head in puzzlement. "I never quite understood why he always seemed to be teaching every class I was in."

"Anything else?"

"He seemed to absolutely hate Ron at first but that slowly warmed up to mild distain by the time we graduated. I felt as if Mr. Barkin went out of his way to make Ron look like a failure."

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Don't make me hurt you." Kim mock-glared while Shego giggled.

"Not the face! Not the face!" She lowered her arms from a defensive position. "I hate to burst your bubble, Princess, but you've just about described every teacher out there, at least from the perspective of the average student."

"Trust me, not this guy. To know him was to loathe him."

"Really bothered you, huh?"

"So did. When I was younger and a student I thought it was how most teachers were supposed to be. Now that I'm grown-up…"

"A bit of advice, Pumpkin. Grown-ups don't refer to themselves as 'grown-up'."

"Now. That. I'm. An. Adult." Kim's enunciation only made the tall woman beside her grin even wider. "Now that I'm not a student, hopefully a little wiser and definitely older, it really bugs me at what a… a… dickweed he was."

Shego stopped dead in the hallway.

"Dickweed?" She stared at the petite redhead and Kim blushed, embarrassed.

"Yeah."

"Dickweed?"

"Yes! So?"

"Giant robots, huge blenders, lasers, marauding grass and monkey ninjas and 'dickweed' is the best you can muster?"

"SHH!" The hero was scandalized. "He might hear you!"

"Kimmie, 'grown-ups' can use foul language if'n they want."

"I know!" Kim didn't look quite as confident as she sounded. "I could've called him worse if I wanted too but I didn't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I was always taught not to curse when I was a kid, that's why!"

"S'funny… I happen to know for a fact that you know ALL the best words."

"Geez!" The blush deepened to crimson and Kim covered her ears. Shego shook her head sadly, her mass of midnight-black hair flowing down her back. She started walking again and a sputtering Kim Possible followed.

"It's not right to use those words and I don't want the girls to hear their parents cursing! It'd be wrong!"

"But here, now, just between the two of us, you could call Barkin anything you wanted."

"Well, sure!"

"You could casually refer to him as being an assho…"

"Shego! SHH!" Kim glanced up and down the hallway. "There could still be other teachers here!"

"Ok, howzabout an idle comment on what a bastar…"

"Cut it out! We'll have to enroll the girls at another school!"

"Or even nonchalantly point out that he's a motherfu…"

"GHAA!" Kim flashed a bright red and scurried down the hall, putting as much distance as she could between herself and the woman with the mischievous gleam in her eyes.

The thing was that she did get the point that her spouse was making and certainly did know how to handle herself with greater confidence now that she was, as her wife reminded her, an adult. In Truth, Kim was only in her mid-twenties and still found it difficult to interact with people as a peer and an equal if they were older than she. Even Shego was older, albeit by only a few years but the former thief often made cultural references that were meaningless to Kim or spoke of events that the hero either barely recalled as ever happening or occurred when she was so young as not to care.

It made Kim feel stupid and, while her mate would never have wanted her to feel that way in a million years, being the child and sibling of family members that each held multiple collegiate degrees was more than enough to make her undervalue her own intelligence. It was ironic that Shego was the one to carry so much self-doubt as to her parenting skills, because Kim had come to rely on her spouse heavily for logical solutions to their day-to-day challenges.

"Hey, Kimmie. We're here."

"Hm? Where?"

Kim turned away from the wall she's been looking at; she had also been searching for any artwork by her children and had become lost in thought. She quickly focused on the polished wooden door that Shego was standing next to, cocking a thumb at the words painted on the frosted glass.

"Here. It says, 'Principal Dickweed'."

"Very funny. Not!" Kim huffed in frustration. "Well, are we ready?"

"Yep." Shego steadied her nerves and grasped the knob, twisting it. "Because I suspect that two little Munchkins would like to see their parents right about now."

88888888

"Momma! We're…"

"… really sorry, Mommy! We didn't do..."

"… anything! And we…"

"… won't do it again! And besides…"

"… it wasn't our fault!"

"Hey, I'm convinced." Shego moved aside to let her wife enter the room and stand beside her in the doorway. "Can we go home now?"

"No, sweetheart." Kim's tone was resolute. "We've been over this already."

She automatically reached out to her daughters and let them grip her hands while she inspected the anteroom to Barkin's office; this was where Mrs. Manders kept her desk and where the middle-aged executive assistant had apparently been keeping the twins occupied for the past several minutes. She saw nothing more punitive than simple cursive drills and colorful exercises involving matched sets. She noticed her taller spouse scrutinizing the small office as well, and only broke away from her daughters after the girls shifted their attentions towards their Momma.

"C'mere, Team Possible."

"Momma, we…"

"We'll talk about this when we get home, Ok?" Shego cast a quick glance to her spouse before the official conversations began. Kim nodded to show her support and Shego winked back before continuing. "Let's stay out here while Mommy talks with Mr. Barkin."

"Okay."

"… ok…"

"Mrs. Manders? Kim Possible." The two shook hands, pleasant if a bit formal. "I'm here for that appointment regarding the… um…"

"The incident?" The older woman nodded knowingly. "Of course, and I'll let Mr. Barkin know you're here." She made a half-turn back to her desk. "I let the children work on their homework assignments while they waited."

"I hope that they didn't give you any trouble."

"Heaven's no! Not at all." The woman smiled. "They're ever so well behaved young ladies. I was about to read them a story if you'd been a few minutes later."

"Oh. Well, thank you." For some reason Kim had been envisioning a prison camp or detention hall, not homework and story time. Maybe I'm the one who gets too defensive and not Shego, she thought.

Remembering her words in the car, the redhead glanced at her wife and their daughters; all three were sitting in the stiff, plastic chairs that lined one wall. Shego was murmuring calmly while Kasy fired back defensive responses with characteristic fervor. Sheki was oddly silent and only had eyes for the floor. This made Kim all the more pensive and the woman at the desk seemed to read Kim's mind.

"Is this the first time you've been called to speak with the Principal?"

"No. There were a few times back in my sophomore and junior years that…"

"I didn't mean as a student, dear. I mean as a parent."

"Oh." Kim mentally kicked herself but was grateful that the secretary chose to downplay the faux pas. "Yes, this is the first time I've ever gotten a call for something like this."

"Well, you shouldn't be too concerned. This sort of… interview is always scheduled immediately following altercations between students. Anything from one child calling another child a 'boogerhead' to that time when little Jimmy Stevens kicked Donnie Landry right square in the…" Mrs. Manders caught herself and shrugged. "Anyway, it will all be ok. Nothing to worry about." She left her desk and walked to an inner door. "I'll just announce you."

"Please and thank you." Kim sighed and watched the older woman disappear into the office. She added her own purse to the pile of book bags and jackets that her daughters had placed on the remaining chair and focused her attention on the three most important people in her life.

"How're we doing?"

"Well…" Shego looked up from where she sat next to Kasy and with Sheki seated one chair down. The raven-haired girl was still being unusually silent but the little redhead wore an expression of supreme defiance and their Momma was looking considerably more relaxed and in control than before. "We've been discussing the problem, right?"

Twin nods, one expressive and one subdued.

"Apparently this girl Missy wanted to share her vocabulary with the girls again."

"Oh, no. Not the 'carpet thing'?"

"Mmm-hmm." The older woman pursed her black glossed lips and nodded. "It seems that… despite being only six… Missy has formed an opinion of our marital sitch and decided that she should express it to the girls."

In spite of this minor crisis, Kim couldn't pass up the joke.

"And how did that go?"

"Not too good." Shego suppressed a grin. "What Missy said was decidedly rude and impolite and allegedly…"

"I socked her one!"

"… our own Kasy Ann Possible shoved Missy backwards…"

"I pushed her right on her butt!"

"… onto her well-padded keister. Young lady, shush. I'm telling Mommy what happened."

"Yes, Momma."

Kim sighed again and rested her hand on the head of her silent daughter; she was glad for once that Sheki had apparently been her usual reserved self and hadn't joined her sister in their little ruckus. Simple playground shoving match was one thing, but two ganging up against one would be unacceptable.

"I did it! It was me!"

"Sweetheart, it's nothing to be proud of. When we get home, we'll all sit down…"

"When we get home, Pumpkin," Shego's look was meaningful, pointedly intense. There was something unspoken in that expression, but Kim couldn't quite read it. "We'll all sit down and talk about this in more detail, ok?"

Shego looked as calm as before but Kasy was looking more desperate than confidant now. The way that she was leaning forward in her chair almost blocked access to her sibling, protecting her.

Shielding her.

"Ok?"

The door to the inner office opened and Mrs. Manders returned.

"Mrs. Possible? The Principal will see you now."

"Ok, Kimmie?"

Puzzled but satisfied in Shego's apparent belief that, whatever else was going on it could wait 'til they got home, Kim leaned down and planted a quick kiss on the foreheads of her children

"Ok. We'll have a nice talk over some cocoa moo." Kim turned to the patiently waiting executive assistant. "Thank you, I'm ready."

They walked to the open door together.

To Be Continued…

Author's Notes: Hm? What? Oh… sorry, I don't have anything to add right now.


	5. Chapter 5

XXX

Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal "Who's Writing This Crap?' Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story 'A Small Possibility' for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I'm not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / Five

Mrs. Manders hadn't followed Kim into the inner office and the young woman found herself in the lion's den with a closed door at her back. The room was well lit and stocked with file cabinets, copies of textbooks and various other learning materials, flags of the nation and state flanking the desk and a picture of the first and current Presidents on the wall opposite the door. The only personal article that was visible was a picture frame on the desk and it was facing away from her.

The man seated at the desk was writing on a form attached to a clipboard. He didn't look up or speak or acknowledge her existence in any way and Kim stood there feeling like a recruit standing review. Not wanting to prove Shego right… prove her wife right in the accusation that Kim was hopelessly bound by respect for authority… Kim told took a second to convince herself that there was no reason to feel subordinate to this man and cleared her throat before speaking.

"Mr. Bar…"

"One moment."

Kim clamed up and stood a little straighter. She cursed silently to herself while Barkin reviewed his paperwork and made a few additions to the document on his clipboard. She took a moment to inspect this man who had been her teacher throughout her years at Middleton Elementary and noticed that he hadn't changed very much. Just as broad shouldered and very likely just as tall, his hair was touched with gray and there were plenty of lines around his mouth and eyes.

She seriously doubted that they were 'laugh lines'. Barkin finally lowered his pen and raised his eyes to her. Geez, she thought, Drakken usually looked more welcoming than this; at least the blue man would've been grinning.

"Kimberly Possible."

It hadn't been a question.

"Yes… sir?"

"Kimberly Ann Possible. Served as a student of excellent standing at both Middleton Elementary and Middleton High School, graduated with honors."

"Yes, sir."

"Do you know what's it like to serve your country, Possible?"

"E-excuse me?"

"I said," he growled, not offering her a seat but instead standing up behind the desk. "Do you know what it's like to serve your country?"

"Yes." What sort of question was that? Se did, though, didn't she? Not with actual military service but with her many missions, the interaction with Global Justice, surely it would all count towards something, wouldn't it?

"Yes, I do."

"I'm sure that you think so." He brought his powerful arms out and crossed them behind his back, feet planted as if even a hurricane couldn't move him from that spot. "I recall those… escapades from your days here at Middleton. Cutting class, disrupting the student body." His deep voice resonated. "Flaunting your individuality in the face of authority." He released the last statement as if it had a foul taste.

He turned and strolled around the desk towards her; Kim decided to stand her ground and see what game was being played. The large man was around the desk in three strides and he towered over the petite woman.

"Young people… students… have no concept of discipline." He kept his gaze up and forward, still not making eye contact. "The discipline of self-improvement, the hardship of advancement through study and regimentation." He continued moving and passed behind her. "I recall a time when young men would hear the call to duty while still in their teens… often lying about their age, claiming to be older…" He spun and faced her, finally looking her square in the face and Kim burned with shame one second after she felt herself cringe. In her defense, Barkin's rambling was making Kim start to doubt the man's sanity. He didn't leave her any more time to think before he continued.

"These weren't boys, regardless of their age. These were young men." His steely eyes pierced her as he reached out and lifted he framed photograph from his desk. "There are no young men these days, just little boys and little girls, each playing at being children well into their teens."

Oh, yeah, Kim thought to herself, Shego would've fried him three minutes ago. Where is he going with this? She watched as the photograph was brought into her line of sight.

"My entire life has been devoted to serving my country, and I started at a very early age." Barkin handed her the framed picture from his desk and Kim took a quick look down at the black and white image of a much younger Steve Barkin, wearing combat fatigues and covered in mud. The younger man was grinning from ear to ear, as was the grizzled looking figure standing beside him. Kim looked up at her former teacher.

"I'm sure that your former commanding officer would agree, sir."

"That's my mother." His eyes narrowed coldly as he accepted the picture back from her. "This picture was taken immediately upon my completion of the advanced obstacle course." He glowered and returned the picture to the desk while Kim considered the odds that her girls would be expelled. She did her best to remain calm as he huffed and stalked back around the desk to his chair. He sat down, thrusting out a massive hand and pointing at the seat next to her.

"Sit."

Almost as quickly as she might reach for her Kimmunicator, the hero took the proffered chair. Barkin moved his hands apart and slid his clipboard closer with one while shooting his cuff and glancing at his watch on the other. Kim had little hope of reclaiming any control over the current sitch, not that she'd had any to begin with, but maybe she could assert herself a little.

"Mr. Barkin… I understood that you wanted to discuss the behavior of my daughters out on the playground today."

"And so we shall. This board of inquiry is now in session!" He barked the last word. "The time is precisely thirteen-oh-nine hours and the recorded facts are as follows…"

"Board? What 'board'?"

"ONE… the defendants Kasy Ann Possible and Sheki Go Possible were seen on the field of battle… also known as the school playground. TWO…"

"Hey!"

"… the defendants were observed having a verbal confrontation with Melissa Jean Edwards. THREE… Melissa Jean Edwards shortly thereafter reported to a School Warden that she had been physically accosted and…"

"Wait! Hang on a second." Kim sputtered out the words; she'd never been in a 'kangaroo court' before but she was starting to know how it felt. "Did anyone else see what happened?"

"There are no witnesses named in the records."

"Then all of this is based on the word of one person? This… Melissa Jean Edwards?"

Barkin almost seemed to smirk.

"Not quite. It was corroborated by your own daughter, Kasy Ann."

"Kasy?"

"Affirmative. The victim…"

"The WHAT??"

"… from this point forward to be referred to as 'Missy', ran over to the Warden in a state of emotional distress and reported that she had been pushed onto her posterior. She was immediately joined by the aggressor…"

"Oh, for the love of…"

"… who shall be referred to as Kasy, who provided evidence of a verbal nature to support the accusation that it was Kasy who had perpetrated the act." He settled back in his chair and spread his hands. "It's all very cut and dry."

Kim had to agree. Even with Barkin's surreal depiction of events, there didn't seem to be any way to refuse the evidence, especially not with Kasy having ratted herself out. She hated to admit it, but Kim wondered if Shego couldn't teach the girls a little something about subterfuge.

"So… what happens now?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"To the girls?"

"Sign here."

The big man nodded absently and spun the clipboard around on his desk; he proffered his pen and indicated several highlighted areas on the topmost piece of paper. Kim had to rise from her chair and half-lean over the desktop to read and sign the form. She signed her full name once, printed it once as well, and initialed a few lines of simple text that basically confirmed that she understood the report as it had been relayed to her and that this meeting had in fact even occurred. She was finished within seconds and Barkin set the clipboard aside.

Kim swallowed hard as she sat back down. Was her own mother ever subjected to this sort of treatment as a result of Kim's antics from years ago? At least her mother didn't have a history with this man before her became Kim's own teacher. The young woman wondered how badly her own history would reflect against the treatment her daughters would receive.

"Mr. Barkin?"

"Yes?"

"The girls?"

"What about them?"

"What happens to them?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Correct."

"Nothing as in 'ever' or nothing as in 'not at this school' or…?"

"Nothing as in this hearing is concluded." He frowned at her beneath hooded eyes. "Nothing as in they are minors enrolled as First Graders in this school and as such are free from personal liability. Nothing as in no one was hurt except for another student that was shoved onto her butt and ran for help instead of taking a swing of her own."

"But… I…"

"Mrs. Possible." The man looked tired suddenly, weary. "The aptitude which your daughters have consistently displayed places them in the top three percentile bracket in this school. Their behavior, with this notable exception, is exemplary for children their age. They are well-liked by their teachers and our school is all the better for their enrollment."

"Then what…"

"At any time during this debriefing did I tell you why your daughter claims to have accosted her classmate?"

"…"

"I did not." He leaned forward and stared at her. "Care to guess?"

Kim felt herself sweating.

"Allow me to elucidate." Barkin flipped over the paper Kim had signed and initialed and briefly scanned some notes written below. "It seems that Missy Edwards was making disparaging remarks to your daughters regarding the nature of your… marital status."

"R-really?"

"Yes."

"She told you this?"

"No. Apparently your daughter Kasy mentioned it to the School Warden."

"I… I don't know what to say." It was true, she didn't. "I don't really know Mrs. Edwards and I don't know what she knows about… me, so how Missy would ever come to find out is…"

"Is beside the point." Barkin's face was set in stone. "Whether you want to view the subject from the perspective of what citizens do in their own home as being no one else's business, or the 'don't ask, don't tell', it equates to the same thing."

"Which is?"

"That the point is irrelevant."

Kim felt relieved; being forced to confront her personal life choices in front of this man, of all men, was a hundred times worse than when she'd first sat down to discuss it with her parents.

"But now do you see that it IS relevant?"

"Huh?" He had caught her woolgathering. "It is? I thought you just said…"

"Ms. Possible, surely you see that what you've done with your life is relevant, that it does matter." He raised a large hand and gestured to the closed door. "Those children out there aren't old enough to know the magnitude of the mistake you've made, but you can see what a disruptive influence it has on their lives, even now."

He might as well have spit on her; she was shocked and appalled.

"How… Mr. Barkin, how can you say that?"

"This incident may be the first, but I doubt that it will be the last." He gestured at the door again. "Is your… partner out there with them?"

"She came with me to watch the girls!"

"She's the green woman?"

"She is my wife!" Kim's indignation flared but faded at his shrug; it was obvious that the appellation meant nothing to him. He glanced at the paperwork on the clipboard again.

"Sheila Gordon Possible?"

"That is her name, yes."

"Known to various levels of law enforcement as 'Shego'?"

"… yes…"

"And it was she whom, most of the time, you left school to pursue without proper leave or permission, to perform unsanctioned activities that skirted the letter of the law?"

"… yes…"

"This is the woman you have chosen to help raise your children?"

Kim felt small and insignificant in her seat. The answer 'yes' had immediately formed in her mind but she burned with embarrassment in the face of this man's accusations, so much so that the answer didn't make it to her lips; Kim simply didn't trust herself to speak. Barkin nodded, interpreting her silence as an admission of guilt, and flipped up the top page of his documents to expose another sheet, a list of some sort.

"You'll allow me to read to you a few excerpts from your daughters' files." It hadn't been a question. "These are statements recorded over the last year. No action was taken because of the… unusual… nature of your relationship with that woman and the chaotic lifestyle that we have all seen displayed in the media." He regarded her sternly. "If it had been under any other circumstances, Child Services would have been contacted."

She sat there wide-eyed but Barkin didn't explain. He leaned forward and read from the list.

"'They're always yelling'… 'Momma threw Mommy over the sofa'… 'Mommy kicked Momma and hit her with a chair'… 'Mommy was tied up during dinner'…"

Kim blanched. Too many thoughts were coursing through her head, too many retorts and reactions that they served only to cancel each other out. Barkin let the top sheet of paper cover the list and folded his hands over the clipboard.

"With a home life like this, it's no wonder that your children see nothing wrong with their actions on the playground today. Yes, I realize that the acts described here by your children have been perceived and interpreted by their own immature, though highly intelligent, minds… but you can already see the damage that has been caused to their basic sense of right and wrong."

Her emotions were running rampant and the physical effect was nothing less than a minor seizure; she had no choice but to sit in her chair like a catatonic while he heaped more accusations upon her. Kim could not meet Barkin's gaze as he continued speaking.

"I had high hopes for you, Possible. I had thought that you were different from the rest."

"…"

"Being wrong is a bitter pill, Possible. And it seems that I was wrong about you."

Kim screwed her eyes shut and forced the words out.

"Mr. Barkin, if I can just explain…"

"I really don't see the need."

"But…"

"Do you?"

"But…"

"The record of this meeting will be added to your daughters' permanent record, although it will not affect their grade or advancement unless there to be a repeat of this incident. I want to reiterate that they are excellent students, despite their home environment."

"But…!"

"That will be all, Ms. Possible."

"Mr. Barkin, please, I…"

"Dismissed." He hunched his broad shoulders over is work and appeared as if the last five minutes had never occurred and the young redhead had ceased to exist. She might as well have, considering how terrible she felt.

Her family was her life and this man had stabbed right into the heart of her insecurities as an adult, as a parent. Without her family them and the love they brought her, she was nothing… less than nothing. Barkin didn't react as she retrieved her purse and stood, keeping her expression calm as she turned to the door; no easy task considering how she'd let her dignity be shredded.

Why couldn't she speak? Why hadn't she stood up for herself? How could that man hold so much power over her after so long? Was she totally incapable of standing up for herself in the face of authority? Her eyes burned and her throat felt thick and the best thing for her was to leave right now and take her family home for a quiet sit down to discuss the sitch in peace. Then she could take all the time she needed to forget this afternoon and forget Mr. Barkin and maybe find a little peace.

Kim dragged her feet as she crossed the room, grasped the knob and opened the door. Mrs. Manders was nowhere to be seen but Shego and the girls were waiting.

"Ooo, look who's here!"

"MOMMY!!"

Kasy set down her little assignment book and turned to the open door; Sheki looked up from where she had been sitting on Shego's lap. Both were smiling and even Shego looked to be more relaxed than before. The whole clan seemed to be in higher spirits, in fact.

This simple tableau warmed Kim's heart in a way that almost made her forget the inner demons she had left in the office behind her. Yes, they had been waiting… and they had been waiting for her.

"Pumpkin? All done?" Something didn't look right to Shego; it was rare for her Princess to ever slouch. Maybe it wasn't anything too bad, because her mate was already standing straighter as the petite redhead looked them over.

At was as if a shroud had suddenly lifted from Kim's soul.

"Kim? Everything ok?"

"Not quite." She smiled at them. "Be right back."

She backed into the office and the action caused Mr. Barkin to glance up from his desk.

"Ms. Possible, I thought that I had made it clear that…"

She slowly closed the door and turned to face her old teacher, but not before Shego heard one more thing come out of that tender mouth as the door clicked shut.

"That's Mrs. Possible, you dickweed."

To Be Continued…

Author's Notes: I've never liked the Barkin character. Does it show?


	6. Chapter 6

XXX

Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal "Who's Writing This Crap?' Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story 'A Small Possibility' for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I'm not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / Six

"Oh, crap." Shego blinked once before she hurriedly gathered up the twins' book bags and jackets. "Girls, we need to leave now!"

"Momma, you said a bad word."

"Mommy said a bad word, too!"

"… and I think that we need to leave before you hear a few more. Come on, munchkins, I'll race you to the car!"

88888888

"What did you say?"

"Do you really want me to repeat that?"

Jets of air streamed from his nose like a mad bull.

"The meeting is concluded."

"With respect, Mr. Barkin…"

"The matter is closed."

"No, I don't believe…"

"I don't see that…"

"The matter is NOT closed and the meeting is NOT concluded."

That's all it took; not a shout but a slightly louder pitch and the direct stare with those hard, green eyes. The hair stood up on the back of Steve Barkin's neck and he rose from his chair.

Kim's eyes caught fire at his movement.

"Are you trying to threaten me?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"If you're hoping to physically intimidate with your size, you had best think again and sit. The Hell. Down." This caught them both by surprise. Kim waited to see what the large man might do and remembered in the meantime that she wasn't Shego. She wasn't an ex-villain and shouldn't try to act like one.

Barkin blinked a few times… and sat back down.

"Ms. Possible, there's no need to…"

"You will start calling me 'Missus' Possible or I can return here with a signed and notarized marriage license stating that I am legally married to Sheila Gordon Possible."

"That won't be necessary." He clenched his fist but indicated the guest chair with his other hand, clearing his throat to bring his tone down a notch. "Would you care to take a seat?"

"No thank you. I won't be staying long."

"Fine." He grunted. "Mrs. Possible, as I had said before…"

"Mr. Barkin, you've said plenty. It's my turn." She might not be the mighty Shego, but damn, she felt better. "You've made your opinion crystal clear how you feel about my family in general and me, specifically. I'm happy that my girls are such shining stars for Middleton Elementary. My wife and I," she watched him cringe, "have worked extremely hard to make sure that they're well-adjusted and interact with their peers."

Kim paused only long enough to move to the chair, placing her hands on the back but not taking the proffered seat. Barkin glared calmly and remained silent.

"Hopefully more well-adjusted than their parents, that's for sure. Yes, we quarrel and yes, we train in their presence from time to time. We practice hand-to-hand combat and invest a lot of time exercising at home and training for our job, which is of a classified nature. Our goal is for our daughters to be better than we are and it sounds as if they're doing just fine."

He smiled, seeing a breach of her defenses.

"This particular instance notwithstanding."

Kim didn't smile.

"This particular instance, as you call it, was one little girl making a foolish remark about something she knows nothing about. Missy Edwards is a six year old who doesn't know what she's talking about any more than the Man in the Moon. She's probably just repeating what she's heard from someone else… nuts, she'll probably be best friends with Kasy and Sheki by this time next month."

"All that aside, the Middleton School Board will not tolerate…"

"Yes, I know. And THAT part of the meeting, Mister Barkin, is concluded. The girls will receive a reprimand and punishment as we deem fit when Shego… when my wife and I get them home. They will be reminded that such behavior is not acceptable, either to you or I or anyone. They are good girls and they don't start fights and this is one time that I feel wholly confident in promising that this sitch will not happen again."

Barkin let her finish and tried not to feel too uncomfortable. He had received his fair share of flak before, but from senior officers or superiors within the school system. He'd never been spoken to like this from a parent, let alone a tiny slip of a girl that had been one of his own students once upon a time.

"Is there anything else that you would care to say, Mrs. Possible?"

Now she smiled.

"If you ever so much as make me THINK you're letting your personal regard for my life or choice of lifestyle affect your treatment of my children, I swear that there won't be enough left of you to serve as a side dish. And that's NOT a threat." She added this because of his shocked and indignant expression. "A threat would be for me to bring my wife in here and bring her in on this discussion. If that ever happened, there'd be nothing but a greasy stain to prove that you'd ever existed. My girls are to be treated like any other students and will be given the same opportunities as their classmates and will have the same chance to excel or fail on their own merit."

She shouldered her purse.

"As God is my witness, if I even suspect that they're getting a raw deal, I'll pull them out of this school and have them tested for Upperton Preparatory Academy. And Shego absolutely hates when I mention the 'UPA' because it was she that wanted them to go to school here in the first place." Kim signed. "Shego will be mad, I'll be mad… and we'll come looking for you."

He realized that his mouth had been hanging slack and closed it so hard that his teeth clacked together.

"Don't bother getting up. I'll see myself out." She moved away from the chair and walked confidently to the office door with her head held high and her chin out. She had a moment of déjà vu when she grasped the knob for the second time and looked back at the stunned man sitting at the desk.

"Oh, and another thing."

"Yes… Mrs. Possible?"

"You really are a dickweed."

Kim left, pulling the door closed hard enough to shake the wall. There was a tinkle of breaking glass as the framed photograph toppled from the desk and fell to the floor.

To Be Concluded…

Author's Notes: That's a great word: 'dickweed'. It's both mildly insulting and belittling at the same time.


	7. Chapter 7

XXX

Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal "Who's Writing This Crap?' Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story 'A Small Possibility' for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I'm not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / Seven

"… giggle…!"

"… snicker…!"

"… te-he-he…!"

"I happen to know for a fact that there is no laughing during time out."

The magazine rustled as Shego let the corner flop down and she eyed her three girls from where she sat on the sofa. Kasy sat on a little pink stool near the potted plant while Sheki had the child sized lawn chair and was in the corner near the fireplace. Kim sat roughly between the two and, as far as Shego was concerned, was clearly the agent provocateur.

The redhead pantomimed her stern spouse as she faced the wall in a way that only the twins could see.

"… giggle…!"

"So no laughing, please and thank you."

"… he-he…!"

"Come on, time outs are serious."

"… giggle…!"

"… snerk…"

"I'm not kidding!"

Kim crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth. The twins couldn't restrain themselves any longer and turned full around to look at their Momma.

"Is time out over?"

"Can we play with Mommy yet?"

"Nuts to this." Shego dropped the magazine that she had pretended to read for the past fifteen minutes. "I'm outta here." She stalked from the room and left her mischievous charges unsupervised.

They'd come home, dissected the sitch over four 'cocoa moos', and diagramed exactly who had perpetrated what to whom. The oldest Possible carried out the traditional sentence and directed the three younger Possibles to their time out chairs. Boring though it had been, Shego was willing to oversee the punishment at first but now that discipline had collapsed entirely she saw no reason for the farce to continue.

"Baby, where are you going?" Kim felt a little guilty, but not much. "And is time out over?"

"None of your beeswax and no, it isn't." Her voice called to them from the kitchen. "At least not 'til I get back. Can you three delinquents keep still for a few more minutes?"

"ATTICA! ATTICA!"

"Kimmie, where did they learn that?"

"Uh… dunno."

"Right."

"Really!"

"Whatever. And do NOT slide your chairs together!"

The voice didn't sound convinced. Nothing more was heard and when one minute turned into five minutes without Shego returning, the three started sliding their chairs together as quietly as they could. They were reasonably silent for the last few minutes of their punishment, but only because it's difficult to talk while you're making funny faces at each other. By the time the co-matriarch strode back in, she knew that any further punitive action would be a waste of time.

"Next time I'm not putting you three reprobates together."

"Sorry, sweetheart." The sparkle in Kim's eyes raised some doubt as to her sincerity. She turned fully around in her chair and bade her daughters to do the same. "Girls, we all know that time out is a serious thing and that when we're in time out we…?"

"Be very quiet."

"No talking!"

"Shush!"

"Yeah, SHUSH!!"

Kim stifled a belly laugh and Shego rolled her eyes.

"Lawsy, lawsy. Prisoner number oh you eight one two." She pointed to Kim. "Step forward."

"Why me?"

"Because I need you to help me pardon the other prisoners… whom, by the way, can turn back around."

"Got it." Kim gently slapped her daughters on the back. "See you two on the outside." The redhead stood, her knees cracking slightly after having been tucked under the footstool for almost half an hour. She stretched and joined her wife at the sofa as their children swiveled around to watch.

Kim sat at her usual end while Shego turned to face her; the older woman spoke clearly and carefully for the benefit of the children.

"Now, tell me why you had to sit in time out."

"I said some bad words." The redhead was equally serious; she new the drill and they had worked hard to create a consistent and stable method of discipline for the girls.

"Are you sorry?"

"Yes."

"Good. Your time out is over."

"Booyah!"

"Now come here." Shego reached across the length of the sofa and, to the girls' amusement, bodily dragged Kim towards her. The petite woman didn't struggle and was soon resting against the warm body of her mate, Shego's powerful hands wrapping around slender shoulders.

"Your turn."

"Really?" Kim looked back. "You're doing great."

"I… don't like being the heavy with them." The voice was soft enough for only Kim to hear but it spoke volumes. She smiled and patted Shego's knee, sliding off the sofa and down onto the floor with a gentle squeeze on one shoulder.

"Ok! Let's see who's next." Kim extended her finger, idly twirling it around and around, not quite pointing at either child. She did this for five more seconds before spotlighting Kasy. "Baby, scooch over here."

"Kay."

"Sheki, nose."

"Sorry, Mommy." The girl lowered her finger.

"Ew, boogies!"

"Kasy Ann, please."

"Sorry, Mommy."

Neither girl was laughing now; they had been through this before, blessedly infrequent, so they also knew the drill. Kasy slid her child-sized lawn chair onto the rug and waited while her twin slowly kicked her little feet back and forth and stared at the floor. Kim found it hard to maintain a straight face with Shego's big toe tracing circles in the small of her back, but she crossed her legs and made firm eye contact with her.

"Hey."

"… hey…"

"Kasy Ann Possible, why did you have to sit in time out?"

"…"

"Sweetheart?"

"… cause I told a lie."

"About…?"

"That I hit Missy."

"Did you?"

Kasy stole a look behind her.

"Eyes front, baby. Don't look at your sister. Did you?"

"… no, ma'am…"

"Kasy, it's very important that you understand the value of truth. Truth is telling people what you really know. It's letting people know what really happened. When you tell a lie, everybody is wrong. Not just you, everybody."

Shego shifted on the sofa.

"Your Mommy's right, munchkin. We cannot lie to each other, none of us."

"But…!"

"'But', what?"

"I didn't want Sheki to get in trouble!"

"Baby… if you girls promise to always tell us the truth, your Mommy and I promise to always listen to your side of the story. That doesn't mean that you won't be punished for misbehaving, but we'll listen and it might improve your sitch. But it has to be the truth. There is nothing more important that honesty."

"Really?"

Kasy looked slightly awed and Kim turned around where she sat on the floor; she wanted to hear the answer to that question herself.

"Really. So? Promise?"

"Promise."

"And I promise, too." Kim turned back to her daughter. "Are you sorry?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Will you ever do it again?"

"No, ma'am."

"That's my girl. You're free to go… which doesn't mean sitting next to your sister."

"Kay."

Kim held out her hands and guided the six year old to her and around her and into the arms of her Momma; Kasy was held on the edge of the sofa lest she interfere with the proceedings. Shego distracted the girl by tugging on her tiny ears while Kim instructed Sheki to move closer for her own pardon.

"Ready?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl. Tell me, why were you… Sheki, what have we said about Pouting?" The older redhead quickly averted her eyes while her other daughter gave a look that would have reduced Josef Stalin to a quivering mound of Jello.

"That we aren't supposed to?"

"So don't, please and thank you!" Kim waited. "Shego, did she stop?"

"No way. I'm not looking."

"Coward." Kim bumped one of the legs she leaned against with her elbow and received a light kick in return. "Sheki, have you stopped?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now," she risked a look and saw the child sitting before her with an anxious but otherwise normal look on her angel's face. "Tell me why you were in time out."

"…"

"Baby?"

"…"

"Munchkin, it's alright." Shego stroked the red hair of the child in her arms while she smiled with encouragement at the child who sat alone. "We've all had to do this before. Mommy and I need to hear this."

"Because…!"

"Because…?"

"Because Missy said something bad about you and Momma!"

"No, that's not it."

"She did!"

"Sheki, Missy will have to explain to her own parents what happened today. We want to hear you tell us what you did."

"I… pushed her."

"You might have hurt her, sweetheart."

"She was ok!"

"That's not the point." How could she get the child to understand? "You want to learn how to fight like your Momma and me someday, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well, your Momma and I know a lot of things about fighting that could be very dangerous if we didn't train right. The bad people could get hurt and we don't really want to hurt them."

"Speak for yo…"

"We. Really. Don't. Want. To. Hurt. Them." Kim restrained herself from elbowing Shego in the knee again. "And we don't start fights. It's not right to lie and it's not right to start fights."

"Missy started it!"

"When she called us names?"

"Yeah!"

"Sheki, what have we always told you about name calling?"

"…"

"Come on baby. 'Sticks…'?"

The girl rolled her eyes, the hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

"'Sticks and stones can break our bones but names can never hurt us.'"

"And the crown goes wild!"

Now she did smile, as did her twin on the sofa in the loving arms of their Momma. Shego watched Kim's every action and listened to every word and wondered for the thousandth time what sort of a mother the younger woman would have been if she had not been impregnated through Drakken's devious scheme. Probably just as perfect.

"I want you to promise us, sweetheart, that you will never start a fight or bully someone. That goes for both of you, ok?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ok, Mommy."

Kim reached forward and cupped Sheki's chin and gave it a tender shake, stroking her pale green cheek. She wondered for the thousandth time what sort of a mother she'd have been had she not been impregnated at so young an age. She knew that the question was moot, and that she would never know.

"And are you sorry?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Will you ever do it again?"

"No, ma'am."

"Good girl! You are my favorite daughter!"

"Yay!"

Kim turned to Kasy.

"As for you… you're my favorite daughter, too!"

"Yay!"

Kim glanced at her mate.

"Shego, nose."

"What?? I had an itch!"

The twins giggled.

"Ewww!"

"Boogies!"

"Itch! I swear!" Shego darkened slightly but caught herself pre-tirade when she saw Kim wink at her from behind the twins. She stuck her tongue out at them and blew a raspberry as Kim stood up.

"Mommy needs to start getting dinner ready because we're going to be eating early tonight."

The twins looked up at her as if she'd grown a second head.

"Dinner?"

"But it's still light out, Mommy!"

"We haven't been home from school long!"

"I know all that," she steeled herself for the argument to come. "But you two are going right to bed after dinner."

"Mommy! We were…"

"… gonna carve the pumpkin, and…"

"… watch the spooky movies and…"

"… wear our costumes so that we can…"

"… go trick or treating!"

"Dudes! Chill!" Kim held out her hands. "Trick or Treating is tomorrow night and we'll have all day tomorrow to watch movies and carve that pumpkin. But tonight it's early to bed."

"Nuts."

"Poopie."

"Girls, language. Now scoot upstairs and get ready for bed while Momma and I start making dinner. You can finish your homework before we eat, but then right to bed."

"Do we get a story?"

"We'll sing one song, but no story tonight."

Kim could actually see her own flesh and blood deliberating if a Pout would result in a more favorable resolution; the vote obviously came back negative and her daughters slowly moved to the stairs with just a little less enthusiasm than usual. They padded up the steps, dragging their feet only a bit before they disappeared around the top landing and around the corner of the upstairs hall.

The moment they were out of sight and earshot…

"Whew!"

… Kim collapsed back onto the sofa.

"Man, this parenting stuff is not easy!"

"Yeah. Six years and you'd think you'd would have seen it all."

"So?"

"So, what?"

"How'd I do?"

"Kimmie," Shego arched her back and stretched out her arms to flex tired muscles. "I'm not even going to dignify that lame ass question with an answer."

"That bad?"

"Forget it. I'm not feeding your ego." This was punctuated with a kiss once Shego was able to lean down and initiate it. Kim welcomed the snide show of support and pulled herself upright when they broke for air.

"Thanks."

"Go make dinner. I'm starving."

"You want food, you lug that big fat…"

"Hey!"

"… supple, pert, voluptuous…"

"That's better."

"… ass off the couch and help me." Kim rolled her eyes and walked towards the kitchen. Shego grinned as she watched her wife's own shapely backside move farther away.

"We got any tea in this dump?"

"Tea? Yeah, but anything this late in the afternoon had better be decaf or you'll never sleep."

"Blech." Shego swung her long legs off the sofa and stood. "Waste of an otherwise good mug."

88888888

"Where did you go earlier?"

"When?" Shego used her elbow to turn off the hall light and closed the door to the master bedroom; the adults were calling it an early night as well but weren't going to sleep just yet. She held a steaming mug of tea in each hand and offered one to Kim, the redhead already having claimed the wing chair facing the street.

"When the girls and I were in time out."

The picture window in the master bedroom was as large as the one in the living room directly below it, and served as a peaceful retreat more than once for two people that rarely had much time for peace and shared solitude.

"I called Missy Edwards' mother."

Kim managed to gulp down a whole mouthful of hot tea without choking but it was almost a minute before she could comment. Shego made herself comfortable in her own chair and waited.

"You did what?!"

"I said, sugar britches, that I called Missy's mom."

"What did you say to her?" Kim had visions of restraining orders dancing in her head.

"I simply introduced myself and explained that I was calling about today's incident at the school." Black glossed lips blew across the hot liquid. "I apologized for the girls' behavior and asked if there was anything that we could do for the Edwards family to make the sitch right and I assured her that our daughters were dealt with sternly and would be severely chastised."

"Uh, huh."

"I did!"

"Ok."

"Kim, maybe you didn't handle yourself quite as well as you'd have liked to with Barkin, but you're not the only one able to talk to other parents about stuff." Emerald eyes looked across the small space between the chairs. "We talked about this, remember?"

"Yes, we did, and you're right. I'm sorry that I doubted you." The petite woman looked away and plucked at her pajamas in embarrassment. "You're perfectly capable. Maybe more so in light of my behavior."

"Did you really call him a dickweed?"

"Um… twice."

"You DOG!" Shego held out her fist and Kim was not so contrite that she didn't raise her own fist to bump knuckles.

"I'm proud of you!"

"I'm not to proud of myself."

"The jerk had it coming!"

"That's… not it. I… I…"

"Spill."

"It took me too long to stand up to him. Not just years ago but in his office this afternoon."

"We've all got our boogeyman, Princess."

"Barkin was never so terrible as to be my boogeyman. He may have been Ron's, but…"

Shego watched the younger woman fold inward upon herself a little.

"Personal demons?"

"Isn't it always?"

The older woman raised her mug.

"To personal demons."

"Skoal!" Kim smiled.

"Slainte!"

"What?"

"Something I heard from Killigan. It means 'good health'." Shego took a sip. "You know, you made a good call when you said Missy's words would carry their own punishment."

"I don't believe that I stated it so eloquently."

"Whatever. Apparently this disclosure crap is subjective. Mrs. Edwards wasn't told why Missy was shoved on her little ass."

"What?"

"Yep."

"And you told her?"

"Yep."

"And?"

"She was aghast."

"Really?"

"Yep. I believed her, too. She swore that she had no idea that Missy had said any such thing, or that she knew where the girl would have heard the word. Carpet muncher, I mean."

"Great. I could have gone all year without hearing that again."

"Ain't I something? Anyway, Mrs. Edwards offered her deepest apologies and assures me that Missy will have her hide tanned for her."

"Barkin really didn't give her that detail?"

"Apparently not."

"Well, that fits."

Shego thought about asking for an explanation, but the thought soon vanished. She was much more content to keep her eyes on the pretty woman seated across from her.

"I'm glad that you're here."

"Well, I'm glad that I'm here, too, Pumpkin." Shego gave Kim a wink. "Care to elaborate?"

"I'm… glad that… you're with me to bring the girls up right."

"I'm still a bit fuzzy but I appreciate the sentiment." There wasn't much too see in the master bedroom after the lights had been turned out, so the former villain just stared at her wife's profile in the light from the streetlamps outside. "How so?"

"You always know the right thing to say. The… smart way to do things."

"Kim…"

"No, I mean it. I'm ok with it, so I don't need a lecture on smarts."

Shego decided that a brief lecture was warranted, nonetheless.

"Kimmie, your problem is that you think too damn fast."

"Well, I do the best I…" She caught herself while stumbling over what she'd just heard. "What did you say?"

"You think too fast, baby. Fast, but not deep enough." Shego turned to face the petite woman fully, taking the smaller hands in hers. "Your folks and your brothers aren't the only brains in the Possible family. You've got more than enough smarts to match theirs."

"But I don't."

"Yes. You. Do." Shego frowned. "But they're like submarines to your speedboat."

"Ok, not to prove my own point, but please spell this one out for me."

"Your Dad and your brothers love to ponder and theorize and extrapolate but they're the sort that take hours or days or even months to find the golden answer, the final solution… that single unifying theory that determines the inverse tangential hypotenuse of the negative integer."

"Uh…"

"Meaning how many beans make five."

"Gotcha. And that's bad?"

"It ain't bad, it's just that brains like them don't recognize the need for speed. The need for an answer NOW… maybe not the best answer but definitely the one that will save lives. Your mother's like that because her medical training taught her that seconds count. You're like that and you've saved more than your share of lives, too."

"You see things faster than I do."

"Wrong, kiddo. You see plenty."

"You saw that Sheki was the one who shoved Missy on her ass."

"Language, angel. You'd have seen it eventually. I had the luxury of sitting and talking with the girls alone while you were busy with the grown up stuff."

"Hey." Kim turned into the nibble and fended off the attacking mouth with her own. "I heard someplace that grown-ups don't refer to themselves as 'grown-up'."

"I heard that, too. And I'm serious… you'd have seen it if our sitch had been reversed."

"So not."

"So would."

"What tipped you off?"

"Sheki's always the quiet one but she looked way too guilty. Both girls know the proper way to behave thanks to that overdeveloped sense of right and wrong they inherited from you…."

"Ain't I something?"

"… but she was obviously torn by the idea of her sister taking the blame."

"Our little heroes."

"The Oscar goes to Kasy for her 'I'm Spartacus!' routine. If it had been a fair fight that the girls had been aggravated into… well, then I could understand them throwing a few punches."

"Me, too actually. They both want to be like us when they grow up and they'll want to learn all that we can teach them about combat." Kim polished off the last of her tea and set the cup back down on sill. "I just want them to be on the right side as well as the winning side."

"I can accept that. Now, back to our discussion of 'smarts'."

Kim's blush could be felt even in the darkened room.

"Please ignore all that. I'm fine, I was just bugging."

"If you say so. Remember that you can be too rich, to thin and too smart."

"That's hard to believe."

"Genius comes at a price, Kimmie. We could both name a guy that's no better off for all the smarts he has."

"You mean Drakken?"

"The one and only."

"Shoot." Kim snuggled back against the receptive body of her spouse. "If that's what passes for 'smarts', you can call me 'Kim Tardable'."

"Bad Kimmie! Bad! And I thought you meant all that horseshit about name calling!"

"I'm sorry."

"The Hell you are." Long, pale green fingers reached across the gap to tweak a delicate pink nose gently in the darkness.

"So."

"So."

"What are the girls wearing for Trick or Treat?"

"Ooo! There was this little cat outfit that Sheki liked and the ears look adorable on her!"

"Stupid anime… making everyone think that cat ears on humans looks adorable. What about Kasy?"

"You get three guesses and the first two don't count."

"Zombie?

Yep."

"Again?"

"Brrraaaiiiiiiinnnss!"

"That kid is sick."

"Sick and wrong. What about you? Elphaba again?"

"So not!"

"Orion Slave Girl?"

"Been there, done that."

"Then what?"

"Medusa!"

"What??"

"Yeah! It's so cool! I'll plait my hair into coils like snakes and anyone that looks directly at me will get their rocks off."

"Didn't Medusa turn people into stone?"

"Close enough." Shego finished her own tea and her cup joined that of her mate. "What are you wearing?"

"I hadn't decided."

"Really? Can I make a suggestion?"

"Sure."

"Wear the Spritekin outfit!"

"Shego! You know how I hate that outfit!"

"Why?"

"Because the top part is only a vest and it's barely laced together up the front and nothing but more lacings up the side! I feel like I'm falling out if it every time!"

"Yeah! Booyah!"

"Booyah, my foot!" Kim frowned. "It shows too much of what I don't have!"

"Kimmie, forget for once that you're a card carrying member of the I.B.T.C. and show off what you've got."

"What I've got is nothing!"

The former villain shook her head in disgust as she bodily lifted a surprised Kim out of her chair and down onto Shego's firm lap.

"Pumpkin… if you really don't have anything, then the next few minutes won't mean much to you."

The next few minutes meant quite a lot, actually… as did the next hour or so.

The End.

Author's Notes: And that, my friends, is one DEAD plot bunny. I wish that I could say that I hammered this out over a week or two, but that would be dishonest. At least I was able to finish it in time for Halloween. Please excuse any rough editing because I'm frelling tired right now. I hope you enjoyed the story! Be well.


End file.
